In times of crisis
Q. How can you help your kids deal with tough situations and make them feel safe in times of crisis?
A. Children are exposed to traumatic events like the the recent bushfires and the Covid19 dangers through TV, radio, newspapers, magazines, and even adult conversations that they overhear. The information can be scary to kids and they often need help managing what they’ve seen or heard. When you start talking with your children, you help them handle their feelings and you start a recovery of your own.
More than anything, children need to be reassured that things will work out and be okay. They will seek comfort in knowing that parents, families, police, firefighters, faith organizations, doctors and nurses, and others care and are there to help and support the victims. When your child sees media coverage about a disaster, emphasize that many people are trained to help people and handle emergencies. Tell your child that these same people would be there if disaster struck your community.
How do you reassure your child? Here are some ideas on how to help kids cope in times of crisis:
Talk about the events. Ask them what they know about the disaster, how it makes them feel, and what their concerns are. Encourage them to say what is on their minds. Answer their questions and help them understand what’s going on.
Offer comfort. Let your child know that it’s OK after a disaster to feel scared about his own safety or sad about what has happened. Reassure him that sad feelings will get better as time goes by. You can tell him that even people who have lost a lot of important things will feel better someday. Offer comfort even if your child doesn’t voice his fears out loud.
Respond in a positive way. In speaking to your child, try to understand how she is feeling without making judgments. For instance, you might say, “Tell me what you’re feeling,” or “What you’re saying is important to me. Let’s talk about it.” Try not to say things like, “Stop complaining,” or “You should be over it by now.”
Help children find ways to express themselves. Writing a poem or drawing a picture can help your child express her feelings. Children can make cards to send to rescue workers to thank them for their hard work. Talk with your children about courage and let them know that police and community leaders are working to keep people safe.
Join with your neighbors in the relief effort. Speak with your child’s teachers, coaches, or other caregivers to learn about relief efforts in your community. See if there is anything you can do to help. They may be working to help support groups that are helping people who have been affected.
Volunteer together. To provide goods and services to people in need, organizations need help from people. Money is not the only way to donate. Take some time out after school and work so that you and your children can help these groups with tasks such as putting together and sending out packages.
Surround children with people they love. Now is a good time to be with family and close friends. Creating a safe and caring environment can be the best thing for your kids in times of crisis, fear, and anxiety.
Turn off the TV and radio. Try to reduce your children’s media access, especially when media replay tragic events. Letting your kids see minute-to-minute coverage will only upset them and add to their anxiety and stress. Seeing the same reports over and over can give a warped perspective on the dangers.
Give them a more realistic perspective. Try to give your children some real facts and statistics in language that they can grasp and let them see how small the chances of something similar happening to them and giving them a clearer helicopter view.
